Lately, I have been reflecting on the fine line between motivating people and using your authority as a leader to manipulate someone. In your leadership, do you know when you motivate and when you manipulate? You might think the answer is straightforward, but we often end up on the manipulation end without knowing it. So what is the big difference between motivating someone vs manipulating someone? I find John C Maxwell’s answer to this question the best. He puts it this way:
“When you Manipulate people, you move/influence them for your own personal advantage!
When you Motivate people, you move/influence them for their personal advantage!“
The words and actions you use to motivate and manipulate might be the same, but the heart behind them might differ. That’s why it is vital that you ask yourself when you are leading and influencing people the reason behind it. As a leader, the most valuable resource you have is the people you have the privilege to lead, not the product you develop or sell or the service your business provides, but your people. Therefore as a leader, your focus is to add value and give the people the best prerequisites to do their job and help them grow. Your own priority is to add value or motivate and help people grow that will automatically bring growth to your team and business. Zig Ziglar puts it this way,
“You can have everything in life you want if you will just help other people get what they want.”, if we focus on adding value to others, that will help you succeed.
Here are seven differences between motivation and Manipulation.
- Motivation cares about the work and the person. Manipulation only cares about the work.
- Motivation is fueled by love. Manipulation is driven by pride or fear.
- Motivation is grounded in substance. Manipulation is grounded in style.
- Motivation empowers people. Manipulation controls people.
- Motivation values people. Manipulation devalues people.
- Motivation is excellent leadership. Manipulation is evil leadership.
- Motivation fosters loyalty. Manipulation fosters resentment.
As leaders, we are wise to continually check ourselves and, with honest eyes, reflect on our leadership. As leaders of a large group or a smaller setting, we must constantly ensure we are motivating our people and not manipulating them. If you are guilty of manipulating, attempting to use more of a controlled style of leadership or maybe even feel you’ve lost the will to care for your team, you have lost your way somewhere. The good thing is, you can always choose to become a great leader.
If you don’t know where to begin to grow and develop a leadership style, start with being interested in the people you lead and ask lots of questions. If you don’t get to know the people you lead, how can you know how to add value and motivate them in the best possible way?
Two break-though questions for your people to grow can be as simple as “How can I help you?” and with a curious mindset, ask, “To help me understand your work process better, is there a reason why you….?” Or fill in in the blanks yourselves.
To motivate your people is another side of the same coin. It’s about you adding value without asking for anything in return. So ask yourself: “In what areas can you motivate people.” And “How do I make sure I don’t manipulate them for my personal gain”
Live Better – Lead Better.
